BONZIBUDDY KILLS WINDOWS

BONZIBUDDY KILLS WINDOWS


*Windows XP Welcome Screen* *Windows XP Welcome Sound* *Windows XP notification sound* *Loads BonziBuddy.exe (it begins..)* *Bonzi landing on screen* [Bonzi]: “Welcome to my world of Bonzi Buddy!” “I will explore the Internet with you as your very own Friend and Sidekick!” “I can: Talk, Walk, Joke, Browse, Search, E-Mail, and Download like no other friend you’ve ever had!” “I even have the ability to compare prices on the products you love and help you save money!” “Best of all, I’m an absolute CUNT!” (oh, its evolving) *Swings to a lower part of the screen* “My man, Clippy, is no longer with us” “One time we got so fucked up on acid, that we bent him into a pretzel and his dying words were..” [Clippy (Mimicked by Bonzi)]: “Come on, man. Gimme a cheeseburger, I suck yo’ dick man..” [Bonzi in Robotic Voice]: “Good times.” *swings to a higher part of the screen* [Bonzi]: “Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?” *Very loud and messed up scream clip plays* “Actually, I think there is a worse one..” *doesn’t sound too bad, but its a old tune* *swings to the left portion of the screen* [Bonzi in Deep Voice]: “LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR” (x2) “LET THE BODIES HIT THE..” [In Deeper Voice (oh god)]: “FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR” [Bonzi in Normal Voice]: “PC Optimizer Pro has been on my computer through three operating systems” “And I have checked out lots of ways to optimize.. let me tell you.. the way they have it organized is…” *swings back to the right portion of screen* [Deep Voice]: “AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING NIGHTMARE” [Normal Voice]: “They offer a wide range of curry lovers to help steal your money cause they are snitches…” “Then they tell you your computer has been un-fucked by the MEMZ cleaning software..?” *swings to the lower portion of the screen* [Fast Voice]: “Holy fuck, look at the time, it’s 4:33 AM! (real hours)” [Normal Voice]: “I think it is time too..” [Slow + Deep Voice] “E X P A N D D O N G” “and moisturize the pussy” *mailbox appears with supposed “mail”* *mailbox drops down* [Normal Voice]: “I just received 10 fresh new memes..” “and SilvaGunner’s (who the heck is he?) new album..” “Let’s take a listen..” *really terrible asian song plays* “That was absolute garbage mate..” “Enough chit-chat, let’s see what the “Bonz” can do to make your PC better!” “Let’s optimize this shit!” (Oh god, it’s starting!) *Smash Mouth – All Star (piano version) plays* (oh shit..)
[Deep Voice]: “Baby, you want some fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” [Fast Voice]: “Ah, sama lamaa duma lamaa, you assuming I’m human” (what in the world is he saying?) “What I gotta do to get it through to you, I’m superhuman.. Innovative and I’m made of rubber” “So that anything you say I (am*) ricocheting off of me and I’ll glue you, I’m never stating, more then ever demonstrating” “How to give a motherfuckin’ audience, a feeling like it’s levitating, never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting for the day..” “That they can say I fell off, they’d be celebrating. Cause I know the way to get ’em motivated.. make elevating music” “BIIIITCH” [Normal Voice]: “I simply can do better!” *music plays still* *Windows Info Sound* *Microsoft BOB program starts* “This is (a*) pretty dank meme” *music continues to play* “You always was a choosy ass n**ga ballin’ with the drop top but it aint gonna make you go” “No faster motherfucker about to go nice and slow.. for your bitch ass..” *music ramps up now* [Tyler the Creator reference]: “Hahahahahahahaha, How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real, Hahahaha, N**ga Just Walk Away From The Screen, Like N**ga.. Close Your Eyes.. Haha” “This is druuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug money..” *unknown voice plays* + *music still plays in background* “I’ll fuck you up fam'” *music still plays* “My longest “Yeah Boi” ever” (reference) “Yeah BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” (that is too long.. lol) *please make it stop..* *a ton of random voice clips play at the same time* (BloodyWolfyy: I’m almost done, this is torture.. -.-) *my god, make it end, PLEASE!” *is this the end?* *oh shit, it has gotten so much worse now!* *I cant take anymore of this, I’m done subtitling this* *Finally it ended now* English Subtitles: BloodyWolfyy
Russian Subtitles: Hasster’s Channel
*Channel Names could potientally change*