Everyone, today I’m
with Cello Nascimento, a cutting-edge comedian. Listen to this madness. His first joke
was hitting his car. How was that, Cello?
Tell us. -Keying the car.
-Keying the car. The joke is keying a car. I grabbed a key
and keyed the car. The owner got pissed off and everyone laughed. I was the first to that
in Brazil. Wow…
But how did you make money? I started selling tickets. -You took the car to the theater?
-No, I used that concept. But with other jokes. I had a famous joke about a dog
who stood there starving. I also had a joke
where I took an infected needle and pricked people. And people wondered what they
contracted for 40 days. It’s something different. It’s that thing.
It’s very well-known abroad. Brazilians are more unwilling
this kind of humor, they prefer catchphrases. -But you’ve been sued.
-Yes, by my maid. Your maid? It’s because of a joke
I made for 15 years. -I didn’t sign her work card.
-Yeah? It’s a joke I made that she didn’t get
and she’s suing me. But it’s a foreign concept. They call it
a long-running joke. For those who don’t get it, it’s good if you explain
this long-term joke. -Long-running joke…
-Running. It’s a recurring joke
that lasts a long time. It means you make it
for a long time. For example,
Romilda, my maid. I used to wake her up
to make me chocolate milk. She was an older lady
and had to make it for me. Then I’d say,
“What the fuck, Romilda? I didn’t ask anything.
I don’t like Nescau. I like Nesquik. It has too much sugar.
I don’t like it.” She thought
she was going crazy. My followers loved it. Romilda got a little upset
and decided to sue me. But I’m thinking or turning this
into a movie. -I talked to Regina Duarte.
-That’s great! Yeah.
She’s checking her schedule. And Theo Becker to play me. Theo, we want you here. But what’s new with Cello?
What can we expect? -I have a show with my ex-wife.
-Nice! I don’t pay her alimony. I do it
from Monday to Sunday. It’s been going on
for 3 years. And I have a character
for my kids. That’s great! I’m an absent father
who smokes and drinks and only picks them up
every other week, but sometimes he forgets. That must be fun.
I want to watch it. -It’s nice.
-Anything new as a play? Sometimes it’s important
to do theater to be in contact
with the public. I have a new play coming up. Something new for Cello.
Tell me what the play is. -What was that?
-It’s a preview. Hilarious. Relax.
It happens to everyone. What? My limp dick?
You’re talking about my dick? This limp dick
is a joke, babe. They call it
a soft dick joke. It’s a foreign concept. What about the size? It’s a small dick joke. It’s a big trend abroad. I’ll send you a doc
that came out on Vice about this movement. It’s a thing there. There’s a short film
about it. “The Little Ones”? Maybe, I don’t know.
I saw it in English. It’s a movement
called Small Dicking. I’m part of it. Small Dicking in comedies. It’s like “So funny, man, I will laugh
so much about that.”