“Mac vs. PC vs. Everybody” (parody ad)

“Mac vs. PC vs. Everybody” (parody ad)


Hello, I’m a Mac. And I’m a PC. You know how everyone says make sure all your software is up to date? Well, I do that automatically, so you don’t have to worry about it. And I’m a PC. Ah, self-deprecating humor, I get it. That’s funny. And I’m a PC. Oh! You’re stuck! Okay, uh, we just have to restart here… one, two, three, four, five… Okay. And while we wait for him to restart, it’s probably a good time for me to point out that I’m pretty much the most stable operating system on the market. Whoa, whoa, whoa, just one second there! Oh, crap. Hi, i’m Linux. Linux, what are you doing here? This is between me and PC. I’m sorry, it’s just that you’re not the most stable operating system out there and available. That’d be me. How do you figure? Don’t get me wrong, you’re okay, it’s just that I’m open source, Which means literally there’s hundreds of thousands of people working on me to make sure I’m bug-free and secure. Okay, but we’re both UNIX-based, right? So we’re practically the same thing, like brothers! Yeah… about that. UNIX told me to tell you that he doesn’t want to be associated with you. What? No way, I’ll say what I want to say, and you know, if UNIX doesn’t like it, he can tell me to my face. Hey UNIX! WHAT?!? I told him what you said about him but he doesn’t want to believe me… Goddamnit! What the hell is going on here? I’m missing my Matlock marathon! I told him that you want him to quit associating himself with you, and– I told you he was an asshole and a corporate tool! Don’t misquote me, you little pecker! You got me out of my Lay-Z-Boy for this?? Goddamnit! I told you don’t bother me during Matlock. If the Russians launch their missiles at us, don’t bother me during Matlock!! Christ! Goddamn kids! See? Well screw you, I’m still a better value than you. And I’m a PC. Or this guy. I’m free. What are we talking about? Look, I come with all the software you need to USE your computer, though. So you got iLife, iChat, Safari, Mail, Calendar, Address Book! I have Minesweeper! Do you have Minesweeper? I will punch you in the throat, PC. But… Freecell… Look, the fact of the matter is, I combine ease of use, stability, robust featurability, AND value, more than anything else available. Not for long, pretty boy. Hi, I’m Google. Google, what are you doing here? This is a conversation about operating systems. Yeah! Ye- Yeah!! Oh, uh, did you guys know? I’m preparing to launch the worlds first major, web-based, free operating system. And it’s bundled with free software, like a web browser, email, photo editing… Oh! Office suite that’ll let you do word processing and spreadsheets and presentations. All online, from any computer connected to the internet. Oh! And did I mention, it was FREE. What? No! No, I’m the cool one! I’m the one people like, ME! Whoa, hey– No, YOU shut up! All right, none of you would exist without me! I was the first personal computer. I was the one who brought home computing to the masses. Without me, there’d BE no internet! So no one to check your damn code, and no one to use your douchey little search engine! And don’t get me started about you, you little thief. “Windows”?? I invented that! You just stole it and put a new name on it and before I knew it I was down to a 5% market share, well screw you! Mac, chill out! Google’s not a threat, dude. Think about it. He’s starting from scratch. No one’s just going to up and switch to an online operating system. All of his users are passive. He’s going to have to build a user base from scratch. Not so, Geek Squad. Have you met my friend, here?Sorry, I was taking photos with my camera phone. This is Myspace. We’re in a partnership. Hey! Do you want to be my friend? I don’t even– Cool! Do you want to be my friend? Great! Do you want to be my friend? Awesome! I don’t even know you! Dude, we are like BEST friends. What? Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon… Hey, could you not sing right now?you come and go… We’re trying to have a conversation.you come and gooooo! No, NOT sing. I don’t want to listen to you right now, I’m trying to listen to something else. Yeah, I’m sorry, we’re still working on that. Anyway, Myspace has over a hundred million users, and most of them are pretty dedicated. I mean they log on four, five, six times a day. So I think I have the user base covered. Oh, and I hear you don’t work so well on Myspace. Sorry about that… Fuck you, man, alright? I worked hard to get to where I am. I’m not some fucking upstart internet business! I’m the best! Me! Not you, and not you. I know it, and my users know it, and all you fuckers will fucking know it if it’s the last thing I do. So fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you, I’m outta here!! Wow. I totally did not see that coming. Yeah… You guys are lame. I’m gonna go buy Twitter. Later, Nerd PatrolKarma karma karma karma karma chameleon… So… Have you tried Windows 7 yet? Nobody likes you, PC. You know that, right? You’re a friend of convenience. But it’s the best Windows yet… Google was right, you are lame. I don’t feel comfortable standing next to you. Hey, guys, wait up! Guys!! Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon… you come and go… you come and gooooo!